As the rates for divorce and remarriage increase there are more and more married couples who both have children from a previous relationship. When they live together they are considered to be a blended family. Combining two families in this way can be problematic, especially if the parents have drastically different parenting techniques. In order to maintain harmony in the home and help the children and parents to blend together effortlessly, use these five tips with your own family.
1. Set Clear Boundaries
Having two families living together under one roof can make it difficult to determine what is allowed and what is not. Many children may view the living situation as an extended slumber party rather than everyday life. It is important that both parents set clear boundaries for their children. While it is important that they enjoy the company of their new siblings, it should also be clear that life includes chores, schedules, homework and the like.
2. Maintain Equal Parenting Duties
One problem that many blended families deal with is having one parent deal with their biological children and not their stepchildren. If you have committed to a serious relationship or marriage with another person you need to accept responsibility for their children as well. Make sure that you feel comfortable scolding, punishing or just talking to your spouse?s children as well as your own. While this process may take time, it is vital for a blended family.
3. Decide on Punishments Together
If you and your spouse have drastically different parenting techniques for your children, it is important to write down punishments that you can agree on for all children. For example, children will be upset if one of them is grounded for a week and the other child is merely scolded for making the same mistake. Having set punishments across the board will help you come across to children as one combined parental unit.
4. Be Fair Among All Children
One issue that is raised time and time again in blended families is the issue of fairness. Some parents will naturally favor their own biological children, while in other cases they will favor their stepchildren. While this may be a natural reaction, parents need to treat all children equally. Rewards, praise and even punishments should be the same for all children. This will show that you care for all members of your family equally, and will foster a tighter bond between all family members.
5. Bond as a Family
Although many of these tips relate to parenting techniques, it is also important to set some time aside to bond as a family. Spend one on one time will all of your children in order to foster better relationships with each.
Blending two families can be a challenging task, but the outcome is well worth the effort. Each of these tips can help you to combine two families into one happy, healthy and loving family unit.
Kelly Helmes writes for higher education blogs nationwide. She recommends www.bestmastersincounseling.com as a great resource for students interested in finding more information on getting an online masters in counseling.
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